E. E. Knight (eeknight) wrote,
E. E. Knight
eeknight

Now THAT'S what I call a review

I considered just quoting from it, but there are so many great money lines from this Amazon review of Dragon Champion that I'll cut 'n paste in full:






Garbage

Damn, I hated this book. I honestly don't know why everybody else seems to like it so much...unless they get a perverted rush from reading about a dragon indiscriminatly [sic] eating people and children.
(story spoilers ahead)


Always, but always! kick off your argument in a debate by calling the opposition perverted. You should have learned that freshman year in high school speech class, people. Sorry for the aside, we'll return to the review.

I love dragons very much, but that doesn't keep me from hating them either if I feel it's called for. This book feels like it was meant for people who have contempt for humanity. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I can't see humans as bad guys it's just that this felt so one-sided. And if the dragons in this story wanted to be left alone then why didn't they just keep their distance and not attack humans?

Another person who reviewed this book called Auron an evil dragon. I wish it were so. If he was genuinely evil this book might have been interesting but he's supposed to be the good guy. I don't have a problem with people thinking only of themselves but that doesn't mean a person can't have some damn ethics. (he eats children for Christ's sake! Children!)

Which reminds me. Have to pick up some veal for Saturday. But to continue.

Also, I didn't like how he didn't have a sense of humor and couldn't laugh at a joke. What is he, Mister Spock? If he doesn't have ego enough to laugh then he shouldn't be compelled by petty feelings of vengence [sic] and anger either.

I thought he'd redeem himself when he started caring for that human girl but even after that he continued to eat people indiscriminatly [sic].

Point of fact: he doesn't, unless he means when he kills in battle when his tribe of Blighters are invaded by the Ghioz and the Fireblades are formed, or when Hieba has a knife to her throat and his blighter friend has been murdered. Or could it be the guys who are keeping the dragonelles chained up and loping off heads when they don't produce enough eggs? But back to the review...

Oh, and at the end, keeping his own children from killing each other like he did with his siblings when he was a newborn was also lame. Suddenly he has ethics...the ethics of shallow pity.

Ethics of shallow pity? Curious phrase, has sort of a Wannsee Conference ring to it. The pity pool has a deep end and a shallow end. I'm peeing myself in the shallow end, it seems.

And maybe it was shallow ethics and pity that compelled E.E. Knight when he wrote this piece of crap.

I think it was pity that caused Roc to publish it. I drenched Liz Scheier's desk in salty tears and spittle. But back to the review.

The dialouge is terrible, the story is yet another cookie-cutter Lord of the Rings schtick with dwarves and elves and crap and I had no sympathy for the character.

Why do you people like this book?

For people who love dragons and sensible stories I'd recomend [sic] Jo. Walton's Tooth and Claw or anything by Christopher Rowley (not Paolini).

Anyways, I'm a pretty post-modern guy myself, the kind who reads Friedrich Nietzsche and doesn't believe morality is universal, but I still believe there's a reason people hesitate to do bad things. It's called a conscience and having a conscience is no good if you can't live by your own ethics. That's what makes you feel love for your mother, father and sister in the first place.

Again, what a piece of garbage.


QED. Move over, Aristotle.

Of course, that wasn't enough :) He went to Jo Walton's Word Fantasy Award-winning book Tooth and Claw to write another review where he can rant about me some more. To wit:

You know it's not easy loving dragons and trying to find original stories with interesting dragons. I don't really like most fantasy but I still love dragons. That said I wish there were more books like this. Some people may not like dragons that act like people but it's because I like dragons so much I want to see them in human situations, that's just me.

I wouldn't recomend(sic) this book for people who want traditional dragon stories. Dragon lovers like myself just love thier [sic] asthetics [sic], not the myths or legends surrounding them.

Concerning the story (spoiler alert) It is hard to read about the dragons eating each other but I do like their social structure. I just read a review about another dragon lover book by E.E. Knight, talking about cruel, human fascists but speaking frankly I wouldn't mind a return to a more fascist way of life, like the hindu [sic] caste system. Sorry, if that makes me sound crazy, I'm a rabid reader of Nietzsche but I'm not an anti-semite [sic] or anything and neither was he!.[sic]


I love a guy who, during a conversation about excusing my reach for the hamburger condiments or which button I can push for the elevator, blurts out "I'm not an anti-Semite!"

Any bozo can write a negative review on the book's page, but it takes a remarkable mind and a special kind of drive to go and write a negative review of a book on another book's page. I look forward to some more of his thoughts on Dragon Champion under the Dragonslayer DVD or maybe Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance ("I learned a lot about Socratic dialectics but nothing could explain why E.E. Knight had his dragon eat that little girl!").

Tags: age of fire
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  • The Dawns Here Are Quiet

    Perhaps it's something to do with Mars, but the stars wheeled round just right and I got a whole hour with the television and no kids last night so…

  • Test

    Just seeing if this still works.... I guess it does.

  • My tweets

    Thu, 12:29: RT @ guildedearlobe: @ torbooks While my mind says Honor Harrington, my heart says Smoke from @ EE_Knight's Vampire Earth series.…