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Happy Birthday, William Shatner

In honor of William Shanter's 77th birthday, I decided to do a tribute to the women of Star Trek (the original series).





Alyce Andrece as Alice 118
I, Mudd

Would you hit it?

Until her logic circuits shorted out, Jim
51(65.4%)
No
4(5.1%)
Maybe, does she obey the Three Laws?
23(29.5%)



Angelique Pettyjohn as Shahna
The Gamesters of Triskelion

Would you hit it?

Like a gladiator about to die, Caesar.
19(28.4%)
No
32(47.8%)
Maybe. Would she be armed?
16(23.9%)



Antoinette Bower as Sylvia
Catspaw


Would you hit it?

Like a Kzinti on catnip.
9(15.5%)
No
29(50.0%)
Depends on if I could find my safety goggles. That hair looks dangerous.
20(34.5%)


Arlene Martel as T'Pring
Amok Time



Would you hit it?

Like it's been seven years since I last got any. Amok Time, baby.
41(69.5%)
No
6(10.2%)
As long as I don't have to fight anyone tougher than Chekov.
12(20.3%)



Barbara Baldavin as Lt. Angela Martine
Balance of Terror



Would you hit it?

As though I'm about to go to war against the Romulans in a red shirt as Crewman #5.
25(44.6%)
No
4(7.1%)
She over her husband getting killed and everything yet?
27(48.2%)


Barbara Luna as Lt. Marlena Moreau
Mirror, Mirror



Would you hit it?

I'd hit that so hard we'd land in an alternate universe.
36(65.5%)
No
7(12.7%)
Only to get control of the Tantulus field
12(21.8%)


Celeste Yarnall as Yeoman Martha Landon
The Apple



Would you hit it?

I'd dodge poison dart firing flora to hit that.
37(68.5%)
No
7(13.0%)
Does Vaal order it?
10(18.5%)


Charlene Polite as Vanna
The Cloud Minders




Would you hit it?

Power to the Troglytes, comrade.
25(52.1%)
No
10(20.8%)
Might take a little mind-altering gas...
13(27.1%)



Deborah Downey as Girl #1
The Way To Eden





Would you hit it?

I'd hit it and hit it again and again until God Himself orders me to be shamed and quit hitting it.
34(65.4%)
No
8(15.4%)
As long as the guy with the weird ears isn't watching.
10(19.2%)



Diana Ewing as Droxine
The Cloud Miners



Would you hit it?

Till the pounding crashes that cloud city.
9(19.6%)
No
13(28.3%)
She looks a little high maitenance, but I'd consider it.
24(52.2%)



Diana Muldaur as Dr. Miranda Jones
Is There No Truth In Beauty?



Would you hit it?

Until I go insane.
13(30.2%)
No
13(30.2%)
Only with protective goggles.
17(39.5%)


Elinor Donahue as Commissioner Nancy Hedford
Metamorphosis



Would you hit it?

I'd hit it until Robert Young told me to stop hitting it for medical reasons. Then I'd ignore him because he only plays a doctor on TV.
22(52.4%)
No
11(26.2%)
Dunno. I'm not into threesomes with cloud-like companion entities.
9(21.4%)


France Nuyen as Elaan
Elaan of Troyius


Would you hit it?

It would take intervention by the United Federation of Planets to prevent me from hitting that.
25(61.0%)
No
10(24.4%)
Might take a tear or two.
6(14.6%)


Grace Lee Whitney as Yeoman Janice Rand


Would you hit it?

I'd hit that so hard she wouldn't be able to carry a clipboard for a week.
22(53.7%)
No
4(9.8%)
Only if she wears the official Starfleet go-go boots.
15(36.6%)


Irene Kelly as Sirah
The Omega Glory

Would you hit it?

Like the Kohms are in the next village, howling for blood.
25(62.5%)
No
5(12.5%)
To get away from Shatner reading the preamble to the Constitution? Yeah.
10(25.0%)



Jan Shutan as Lt Mira Romaine
The Lights of Zetar


Would you hit it?

I'd hit her until she forgot everything she ever knew about cataloging and collection development.
10(27.8%)
No
5(13.9%)
Would she try to convert me to Scientology?
21(58.3%)


Jill Ireland as Leila Kalomi
This Side of Paradise


Would you hit it?

Kirk and Spock would have to each grab and arm and a leg to make me stop hitting it.
21(55.3%)
No
11(28.9%)
Might take a small spore-spraying.
6(15.8%)


Joan Collins as Edith Keeler
City on the Edge of Forever


Would you hit it?

I'd hit that so hard it could potentially alter history.
18(45.0%)
No
6(15.0%)
I would, but Harlan Ellison would take credit for me hitting it for the next forty years, so I don't see the point.
16(40.0%)


Joan Marshall as Lt. Areel Shaw
Court Martial



Would you hit it?

I'd hit that so hard I'd Starfleet would press charges. Then I'd hit it some more and go for a mistrial.
12(34.3%)
No
14(40.0%)
Only if I had to hit it to prove Kirk was innocent of hitting it as an ensign.
9(25.7%)



Joan Swift as Aurelan Kirk
Operation Annihilate!


Would you hit it?

Hard enough to kill of some relatives of James T. Kirk.
8(24.2%)
No
12(36.4%)
I dunno. Did Heinlein hit it in The Puppet Masters?
13(39.4%)



Joanne Linville as the Romulan Commander
The Enterprise Incident


Would you hit it?

I'd hit that so thoroughly it might be justification for interstellar war.
21(53.8%)
No
10(25.6%)
Only with an elaborate disguise.
8(20.5%)


Julie Cobb as Gamine
By Any Other Name


Would you hit it?

I could hit that throughout a 300 year voyage to another galaxy.
13(38.2%)
No
10(29.4%)
I'd want to have a few bags handy in case the tentacles make an appearance.
11(32.4%)


Julie Newmarr as Ele'en
Friday's Child


Would you hit it?

I would hit that hard enough to put her in Arkham Asylum, sharing a cell with Poison Ivy.
31(77.5%)
No
4(10.0%)
I'd use protection to avoid plot complications.
5(12.5%)


Julie Parrish as Miss Piper
The Menagerie


Would you hit it?

So fiercely that she'd end up in a wheelchair.
11(31.4%)
No
16(45.7%)
Would I wind up horribly scarred?
8(22.9%)


Katherine Woodville as Natira
For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky


Would you hit it?

I'd take up a new religion and survive a beatdown from the Instrument of Obedience to be able to hit that.
15(42.9%)
No
3(8.6%)
I dunno, Dee Kelley might be a hard act to follow.
17(48.6%)


Kathie Browne as Deela
The Wink of an Eye


Would you hit it?

Like I was answering a planetary distress call.
17(48.6%)
No
7(20.0%)
Yeah, but I'd be quick about it.
11(31.4%)


Kathryn Hays as Gem
The Empath


Would you hit it?

You don't need to be an empath to feel I'd hit that.
5(15.6%)
No
7(21.9%)
I'm getting a weird Liza Minelli vibe.
20(62.5%)


Laurel Goodwin as Yeoman J.M. Colt
The Cage


Would you hit it?

Like Phasers melting a goddamn mountain.
21(56.8%)
No
12(32.4%)
Does she fly in a starship built by Subaru?
4(10.8%)


Lee Meriwether as Losira
That Which Survives


Would you hit it?

I'd hit that so hard it would cause a warp core breach.
15(45.5%)
No
4(12.1%)
You'd think a supercomputer could do a little better, like maybe Aishwarya Rai
14(42.4%)



Leslie Dalton as Drea
By Any Other Name


Would you hit it?

I'd hit it so hard she'd relocate to a different galaxy to get that kind of hitting.
20(58.8%)
No
10(29.4%)
What is this thing called...tentacle?
4(11.8%)


Leslie Parris as Lt. Carolyn Palamas
Who Mourns for Adonais?



Would you hit it?

Like the fist of an Olypian God I would hit that.
10(28.6%)
No
4(11.4%)
I still don't get why a starship needs an expert in Classical Mythology
21(60.0%)


Lois Jewell as Drusilla
Bread and Circuses



Would you hit it?

I'd hit that so hard it would make the Roman Empire fall.
10(26.3%)
No
4(10.5%)
What, are you nuts? Of course I'd hit that as many ways as she'd let me. There's no equivocation or half-measures with that kind of pure uncut of hittability.
24(63.2%)



Louise Sorel as Rayna Kapec
Requiem for Methuselah



Would you hit it?

She'd better be under warranty for prolonged and repeated hitting.
20(62.5%)
No
0(0.0%)
I had my fill of robot women on Harry Mudd's planet, sorry.
12(37.5%)



Madlyn Rhue as Lt. Marla McGivers
Space Seed



Would you hit it?

I'd hit it like a genetically enhanced penis.
6(17.6%)
No
9(26.5%)
She seems like the sort of gal who'd scream "Khaaaan!" when she comes, no matter who she's with.
19(55.9%)




Majel Barrett as Nurse Christine Chapel




Would you hit it?

So hard that I'd wind up in sick bay. Then I'd hit her on her next shift.
13(38.2%)
No
10(29.4%)
I'm not that fond of plomeek soup on the morning after.
11(32.4%)



Marianna Hill as Dr. Helen Noel
Dagger of the Mind



Would you hit it?

Not even a neural neutralizer could stop me from hitting that.
30(75.0%)
No
3(7.5%)
She's got kind of a Nurse Ratchet vibe.
7(17.5%)


Mariette Hartley as Zarabeth
All Our Yesterdays



Would you hit it?

I'd hit it in several different time continuums.
29(78.4%)
No
2(5.4%)
Does she wear that "I am NOT Mrs. James Garner" t-shirt to bed?
6(16.2%)


Mary Linda Rapelye as Irinia Galliulin
The Way To Eden



Would you hit it?

I'd hit it hard enough to launch a shuttlecraft.
2(6.7%)
No
19(63.3%)
If you go to a mythological planet named Eden, be sure to wear flowers in your hair...
9(30.0%)


Nancy Kovack as Nona
A Private Little War


Would you hit it?

So hard they'd feel it in the Klingon Empire.
17(51.5%)
No
4(12.1%)
She's probably just going for the phaser on my belt.
12(36.4%)




Nichelle Nichols as Uhura


Would you hit it?

There'd be interference on all channels from the intensity of the hitting.
32(76.2%)
No
6(14.3%)
As long as she doesn't do a fan dance.
4(9.5%)



Patricia McNulty as Tina Lawton
Charlie X


Would you hit it?

Ther'd be danger of setting off photon torpedoes.
14(42.4%)
No
7(21.2%)
Feels like a teenage crush to me.
12(36.4%)


Phyllis Douglas as Yeoman Mears
The Galileo 7


Would you hit it?

So hard that you'd see the vapor trail halfway across the star system.
11(33.3%)
No
10(30.3%)
If the shuttlecraft's rockin' don't come knockin'.
12(36.4%)



Pilar Seurat as Sybo
Wolf in the Fold



Would you hit it?

Definitely.
9(28.1%)
No
9(28.1%)
Now I know where Marge Simpson got her hair.
14(43.8%)


Sally Kellerman as Dr. Elizabeth Dehner
Where No Man Has Gone Before



Would you hit it?

I'd hit her until she got glowing eyes and psyionic powers from the experience.
23(67.6%)
No
4(11.8%)
Where Frank Burns has gone before, you mean.
7(20.6%)



Sandra Smith as Janice Lester
Turnabout Intruder



Would you hit it?

So hard that she'd be unable to ever command a starship. Or get out of bed.
7(25.0%)
No
7(25.0%)
Not without a safeword for the power exchange.
14(50.0%)




Shari Nims as Sayana
The Apple



Would you hit it?

Like a lizard-god ordered it I would hit that.
5(15.6%)
No
11(34.4%)
Okay, but if she starts singing the Oompa Loompa song, I'm outta there.
16(50.0%)



Sharon Acker as Odona
The Mark of Gideon



Would you hit it?

Until our world became seriously overpopulated.
14(48.3%)
No
9(31.0%)
Would I catch anything lethal?
6(20.7%)




Sheila Leighton as Luma
Spock's Brain




Would you hit it?

I'd hit her brains out.
10(33.3%)
No
9(30.0%)
Worst. Hitting. Ever.
11(36.7%)


Sherry Jackson as Andrea
What Are Little Girls Made Of




Would you hit it?

I would devote years of scientific research to being able to hit that.
32(72.7%)
No
1(2.3%)
Whatever that little girl's made of, the world needs more of it.
11(25.0%)


Shirley Bonne as Ruth
Shore Leave



Would you hit it?

I'd need a lot more than a shore leave to properly hit that. I'd have to take a sabbatical.
16(55.2%)
No
9(31.0%)
I'd go ask Alice for permission to hit it.
4(13.8%)




Susan Howard as Mara
The Day of the Dove



Would you hit it?

You need balls of steel to hit a Klingon captain's wife. Ting, ting ting...
14(43.8%)
No
13(40.6%)
As long as I wouldn't have to read poetry while she chucks stuff at me.
5(15.6%)



Susan Oliver as Vina
The Cage


Would you hit it?

Until the last fleck of green paint flaked off I would hit that.
21(61.8%)
No
8(23.5%)
Sorry, I agree. Intensely hittable.
5(14.7%)


Tania Lemani as Kara
Wolf in the Fold


Would you hit it?

I'd be in there hitting like Scotty in a Jeffries tube.
16(53.3%)
No
7(23.3%)
I bet she smells like Glenfiddich and haggis.
7(23.3%)


Teri Garr as Roberta Lincoln
Assignment: Earth

Would you hit it?

Assignment: Hit That.
25(62.5%)
No
4(10.0%)
Roll, roll, roll in ze hay.
11(27.5%)



Maggie Thrett as Ruth Bonaventure (right)
Susan Denberg as Magda Kovacs
Mudd's Women



Would you hit it?

Individually in turns, or better yet, together.
27(79.4%)
No
2(5.9%)
I don't like to pay, but maybe if Mudd gave me a volume discount...
5(14.7%)




Valora Noland as Daras
Pattern of Force



Would you hit it?

To the beat of goosesteps and the sound of the Horst-Wessel-Lied.
12(37.5%)
No
9(28.1%)
As long as she doesn't yell "Heil Gill" when she comes.
11(34.4%)


Victoria Vetri as Isis (human form)
Assignment:Earth


Would you hit it?

Drool in keyboard. No joke for this one.
23(65.7%)
No
3(8.6%)
If she's declawed.
9(25.7%)


Yvonne Craig as Marta
Whom Gods Destroy


Would you hit it?

I'd make the bed spin from the hitting.
14(31.8%)
No
6(13.6%)
If you wouldn't hit Batgirl you've got serious problems, bucko.
24(54.5%)

Comments

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
blacknarcissus2
Mar. 23rd, 2008 02:09 am (UTC)
+1 for the Young Frankenstein nod. Good work, Froderick! :D
eeknight
Mar. 23rd, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)
What knockers!
blacknarcissus2
Mar. 23rd, 2008 02:20 am (UTC)
BLUCHER!

I so fail on the whole reply exercise once it's gone midnight. >.<

*moves last reply to the right place and takes the error as a sign that I need to go to bed since it's now 2.20am*

wiredwizard
Mar. 23rd, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
Cthulhu almighty... I don't think I'll have that much sex in my entire life!
eeknight
Mar. 23rd, 2008 01:39 pm (UTC)
A five year mission...on a oyster and strawberry diet.
wiredwizard
Mar. 23rd, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
I could live with that. =)
rab62
Mar. 23rd, 2008 06:30 am (UTC)
Pretty much all of the third options made me laugh out loud. But the "I am NOT Mrs. James Garner t-shirt" reference is freaking me out a little. There are actually two of us in the world who remember that? Isn't that...I dunno...kind of disturbing?
eeknight
Mar. 23rd, 2008 01:33 pm (UTC)
I watched a lot of TV in the 70s :)
mssrcrankypants
Mar. 23rd, 2008 11:56 am (UTC)
Two Catwomen and a Batgirl? Damn that lucky bastard Kirk.

Oh, and: Best. Post. EVAR.
eeknight
Mar. 23rd, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
Glad all that hard work paid off.
mjolnir1964
Mar. 23rd, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
Oye...that must have taken a loooong time to write up. I only voted one the ones I'd do, like the Red-skirted Yeoman in the Gallileo 7. Trek did have some fugly women.

So the Shatner is sharing his birthday on the same day that Jebus supposedly rose from the dead...coincidense? Could the Shatner embody the return of the Savior?
eeknight
Mar. 23rd, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)
All I can think is that the starships must have had great hair salons to keep those bouffant and up dos in good shape. Those ain't for amateurs.
darkchallenger
Mar. 23rd, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
I just finished voting using dial up. Totally worth the wait. I was just looking at "Captain Kirk's Guide To Woman" at Hugo's yesterday! Thanks for all the hard work on this post, it made my day.
eeknight
Mar. 23rd, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
Uf da. You are a trooper.
jlanius
Mar. 23rd, 2008 10:14 pm (UTC)
Incredibly Awesome Tribute
Here's what I had to say about this post. One of the best SF babe postings I could ever hope to see, and a perfect tribute to the great Shat.
eeknight
Mar. 23rd, 2008 10:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Incredibly Awesome Tribute
Many thanks!
(Anonymous)
Apr. 8th, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
One you left out.
Barbara Anderson (married name withheld) as Leona Carridian, "Conscience of the King" (first season).
(Anonymous)
Jun. 8th, 2008 04:34 am (UTC)
Good list... my picks:
My top ten, in order from most to least hittable:
1) Sherry Jackson as Andrea (one of the best costumes in the history of television)
2) Nancy Kovack as Nona (another nice costume)
3) Yvonne Craig as Marta (the hotter of the Orion slave girls)
4) Barbara Luna as Lt. Marlena Moreau (in seductive alternate universe mode, of course)
5) Arlene Martel as T'Pring
6) Marianna Hill as Dr. Helen Noel
7) Leslie Dalton as Drea
8) Barbara Bouchet as Kalinda (same ep as above, though not on this page)
9) Sally Kellerman as Dr. Elizabeth Dehner
10) Laurel Goodwin as Yeoman J.M. Colt
(Anonymous)
Aug. 4th, 2008 06:10 am (UTC)
Miri
You missed Miri.
(Anonymous)
Aug. 23rd, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
You also missed...
Yeoman Tonia Barrows
Number One
(Anonymous)
Jan. 10th, 2009 10:38 pm (UTC)
you missed the best one
you missed Barbara Bouchet ! (Kelinda!)
(Anonymous)
Jan. 11th, 2009 12:51 pm (UTC)
you also missed a superbest hottie !!
Sabrina Scharf -> Miramanee
(Anonymous)
Jan. 11th, 2009 03:30 pm (UTC)
another superb honey you missed
Emily Banks -> Tonia Barrows

from the Shore Leave chapter.
(Anonymous)
May. 7th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
Great Pics
Brings back memories. Sabrina Scharf is quite excellent, yes, but with Marianna Hill and Arlene Martel on ths list I have no complaints.
ladyortyger
Jul. 30th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
Full of win. <3
(Anonymous)
Oct. 21st, 2010 01:10 am (UTC)
SHE MISSING!!!
Where is the Indian girl that Kirk married and was going to have his child? Because Spock damage the ship trying to stop the astorid. All they had was inpulse power. Which gave Capt. Kirk lots of liberty time with his new wife. He forgot who he was when he came out of the temple which was actually a deflector to push away the coming astorid. Finally Spock fig. it out. I can not believe that you got all the other girl except her. Darn it all!!!
(Anonymous)
Dec. 7th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
Re: SHE MISSING!!!
andrea dromm
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )