E. E. Knight (eeknight) wrote,
E. E. Knight
eeknight

Laundry Room Bibliography

So I was doing some laundry in the condo room. There's a table down there where people throw old books and copies of National Geographic (which is what I usually read) but I became entranced by...



The World is Full of Divorced Women

It even has the old 1980 cover with the gal in the Let's Get Physical headband.
Here's the backcover copy:


Cleo James
the cool British journalist who joined the thrill seekers when she found her husband coupling with her best friend.

Muffin
the luscious centerfold, with a little girl charm, a big girl body, and a hunger for all that Hollywood has to give.

Mike James
the record promoter who adores his Cleo but whose addiction to women is constant and insatiable.

Jon Clapton
who took a little English girl from Wimbledon and made her into Britain's top model. Now he wants to keep those profits rolling in--any way he can.

Daniel Onel
an actor grown older, wiser and hungrier for Cleo.

"writes bestsellers like a female Harold Robbins"
-Penthouse


And let's not forget the frontpiece teaser:

"Did he think he was going to end up in your bed?" Daniel asked.

"I don't know and I don't care." She stared at him, willing him over to her.

They stood very close together, not touching, just having an eye to eye confrontation.

"Did you want to stay?" Daniel asked.

"What do you think?"

His lips were like fire, burning down on hers, and creating a sensation of excitement and abandon that seemed to have been buried for quite some time.

She wasn't aware of the clothes slipping from her body. Bust she was aware of the way his fingers traced every outline of her form, creating exquisite electric shocks of ecstasy.

She struggled to get his clothes off. Tore at his shirt, ripped the zipper on his trousers. "I want you so, so badly," she murmered. "I've wanted you for months and months. It seems like forever."

He touched her breasts, played with them gently, flingered her nipples until she wanted to scream. She wanted to beg him to make love to her. . .


Now, lest you think I'm just chuckling in a superior fashion, there's a lot to be learned from that back cover copy. 113 words, five names, and look at all the conflicts Ms. Colllins has set up:

  1. Cleo appears to be involved in a love triangle, with a philandering husband and an aging actor lusting for her. How will that turn out?

  2. What will Muffin do to get all that Hollywood has to offer?

  3. Can Mike overcome his sex addiction? After all, it's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything.

  4. What will Jon do to keep the profits rolling in?

  5. Is Cleo still keeping her cool and remaining friends with the woman who banged her husband?

  6. What will Cleo experience when she joins the thrill seekers?

  7. Is Jon shagging Muffin? What urges drive him in his world of top models? Are he and Muffin in love? Or is Muffin shagging John to sleep her way to stardom?

  8. How will Muffin's lusciousness be shown?



I'm going to have to read this just to find out what happens to Muffin. Also, I don't want hands strong enough to rip a zipper anywhere near my junk.

Oh, and you can't mention Jackie Collins without a little French & Saunders.



Tags: writing
Subscribe

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 25 comments