Bohemian Word Werks

Yummy Trader Joe's recipe

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:52:33 GMT

They were doing this at TJ's yesterday. It's very quick n easy, as long as you buy pre-made rice pudding.

Easy fruit parfait

You need:
1 & 1/2 cup rice pudding
strawberries
blueberries
Nila-wafer type vanilla cookies
dash vanilla

Put pudding in mixing bowl, add vanilla
quarter about 10 medium-sized straberries and gently stir into it (about a cup, maybe a little more)
add a heaping handful of blueberries (about a cup), gently stir again
Crush in about ten cookies (half cup or so) - best if you keep them chunky rather than pounding them into dust
and stir one more time

place in tall glass or sundae cup

Serves 2-4, depending on dessert size preference

You either want to serve it right away or mix the fruit & pudding beforehand then add the cookies just before serving so you get the texture to your cookie chunks.

Zombie-oriented timewaster

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:16:38 GMT

flames_rising pointed this one out:

http://armorgames.com/play/1443/the-last-stand-2

Good zombie action. You do your basic Klan Cookout against oncoming zombies during the night, then during the day you make strategic choices about what to do, where to search, and whether to move on to another town as you trek toward rescue.

Crap. Chicago gets the shaft again.

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 15:54:22 GMT

Simon Pegg Jessica Hynes (nee Stevenson), and Edgar Wright are touring New York, Los Angeles, Comic-Con International in San Diego and Austin, Texas to promote the American release of Spaced on DVD.

Starts in NY on July 21.

Happy Fifth of July!

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 20:25:04 GMT

Yeah, you're all out having a fabulous time with fascinating people, aren't you.

Well, for those stuck at home working, here's a quiz I made to give myself a break:

Which 80s Musical Icon Are You?

Happy Glorious 4th, everyone

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:33:53 GMT

Three links:

Since everyone else is posting the Declaration, I'll be contrarian and post Calvin Coolidge's speech on the 150th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

A fascinating piece of cephalopod intelligence. I've tried very hard in Vampire Earth series to have the Kurians "fight/survive like an octopus" but it's hard to get inside an octopus's head, you know?

And...red white and blue pulchritude! Playboy has a tribute to each State of the Union. Very NSFW. It's supposed to be for people on the store mailing list, so if it doesn't work you may have to go in through Playboy.com and give them a e-junk email. And attest to your adulthood, of course.

Yesterday on Michigan Avenue

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:05:26 GMT

Chats and I went downtown yesterday to visit bookstores.

It was fun to just bum around the city with her.

As usual in the summer, Chicago is doing an artsy display on Michigan Avenue for tourists and locals who act like tourists. This year it's dresses made out of recycled stuff.

Yeah, I took pictures.

God's Creation

Beauty Intertwined

Bubble Eruption

Can't remember what this one was called, but since it looks like the thing Joanna Cassidy was wearing in Blade Runner when Harrison Ford shot her and she plunged through all those glass windows I'll call it
Obviously Male Stuntperson

Erica's Island

Fashion Focus

Hotel Keyture

Queen Of Hearts

Recap

Sensual Siren

Sexy Cancan

Social Butterfly

Wisteria Lane

Some other Chicago Stuff:

Chats on Michigan Ave

One of my favorite views, upriver from the Michigan Avenue bridge.

And downriver, from Upper Wacker.

King Lear, a statue just opposite the Tribune building.

Detail on the statue.

Trump going up.

Significant mostly to me, this is the Michigan Avenue Express store.
In it, I took a "no more crazy bitches" vow (long story) that I managed to keep.
That vow eventually led to me marrying Chats :)

So, I signed books at five stores, I think. The Loop State Street Borders was sold out on Fall With Honor which is kind of a good/bad thing (on the other hand, the B&N at the north end of State didn't look like they'd sold any, unless they ordered a lot more than they usually get).

The Soundtrack To Our Lives

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:28:16 GMT

The Chicago fireworks display just concluded.

For the record, the soundtrack (sponsored on WGN by Hummer) consisted of:

Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
American Woman - The Guess Who
Don't Stop The Music - Rhianna
Let's Go Crazy - Prince
Mr. Brightside - Killers
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
Clocks - Coldplay
The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
I Don't Wana Be In Love - Good Charlotte
Stronger - Kayne West
Black Horse & The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall
How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty

I think it's great that Chicago, a city of ethnic diversity, can be united in this way, with over a million people wishing they were playing Sousa, Cohan, and maybe a little Gershwin and Copeland.

Oh well, have to do it myself, I suppose. Over to you, Mr. Cagney...

Gamers (2006)

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:48:45 GMT

Finally sat down and watched this little independent film.

I had high hopes because it had Berverly D'Angelo (even at 55, I'd still hit it until her grandchildren got around to writing thank-yous for their birthday presents), John Heard, and Kelly LeBrock.

It wasn't so much about gaming as it was an attempt to be a low-budget Apatow flick about troubled manchildren. Didn't suck -- Chats and I chuckled frequently -- but it tried too hard. Gamers wants to be 40 Year Old Virgin meets There's Something About Mary and ended up being a SNL skit from the legendary Joe Piscopo years.

Now, there were some perfectly serviceable jokes, but they always managed to screw it up by cranking it to 11 when the was working perfectly well at 7. Less is more, as my agent is always telling me.

For example, one of the gamers works for another gamer's dad (Heard) collect horse semen. As it's filmed documentary style, they've got the crew talking to Heard about the challenges of his profession while the gamer is in getting horse jizz. Pretty cute, Heard doing straight but slightly funny dialog while in the background the gamer puts on rubber gloves and goggles and enters the barn (stamping and happy horse noises ensue). Funny enough. Then they ruin it by having him walk out carrying a bucket and with terrible looking fake horse jizz all over his shoulder, hair, safety goggles, etc.

There was some pretty good dialog. I'll give them that. Like when the latino gamer brings his pregnant girlfriend to the gaming session so she can share his interests. She gets bored and pissed off pretty quickly, and after he protests that it is a complex and mentally difficult game, says (translated with subtitles):

Complex? You all dress up like idiots, play craps, and bitch like old hags. Or am I wrong?

You go, chica. I'd like to see that on a t-shirt.

Sadly, there's not much gaming humor in the movie. I think you're better off with The Gamers Movie by dead Gentlemen if you want more jokes built around characters and dice rolling.

Summer reading

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:14:35 GMT

I always smile when the summer bestseller lists show and stuff like 1984, Fahrenheit 451, The Hobbit, or Watership Down briefly pop back onto the list because all the schoolkids are buying it. I think it's great for two blindingly obvious reasons:

1) They might develop a taste and seek out more.
2) They're being given a high standard by which to judge other sf and fantasy works.

Back in middle school I had a "homeroom" teacher and genre fan who gave us a bunch of xeroxed sf stories. I think he got away with sneaking it into the English curriculum because of the Star Wars craze. Lots of stories. Not horse-choking sized, but big enough to choke a good-sized dog. Azimov, Matheson, Bradbury, Heinlein, Pohl, Zelazny, Sturgeon, del Rey, Blish, Campbell. . . no Lovecraft though, I had to meet him by the good graces of Robert E. Howard. Wish I still had it, because I'm pretty sure they were copies from the original magazines or a very old anthology. A few kids hated it but that unit was the best part of seventh grade for me, because I was already reading sf and building up fantasy steam fast. That teacher cared enough to show us the 10% that wasn't crap, and I think I've judged stories ever since by the standards given me by that fuzzy gray xerox.

Let's see, eighteen hours of car time in the last 48 hours...

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:59:08 GMT

Chicago traffic and summer construction is teh sux.

Still running around to stores. Today I was in the northern suburbs of Chicago, which always makes me feel like the lead alien in Visitor From the Planet of Modest Incomes.

Had a pleasant surprise at the Vernon Hills Barnes and Noble. The store manager there is now Deb, who used to just be a regular old bookseller (I think!) at the Arlington Heights B&N when I would go to their cafe and draft Choice of the Cat while Wolf garnered rejections. I did my usual hiya to the clerk and he got on the phone with her and said "there's a major author here to sign his new release." Ahem. Thanks for the promotion, lad. Next thing I knew Deb was behind me and we reminisced a bit. She told me she had a couple fans on staff and they hand sell, but they weren't there dayside. I guess they do a sf/fantasy/horror month in October, and she wants to have me to the store to do an event. I'm up for it.

Every author has a "I bought a book for a Doubting Thomas" story and now I've got one. I was at the Deerfield B&N and I saw a gangly middle-schoolish kid looking at the riser for the VE series. I said something like ~~do you like movies about gladiators~~ "they're great books" and when he asked about the title (I think he asked if it was anything like I Am Legend and I dodged the question which is the only way to avoid answering honestly) I did the "I wrote them" thing. He had his little sister with them and they both looked at me like I was joking so I showed them the author pic to convince them. Always wanted to do that.

Anyway, after I finished signing the backstock he was still reading backcover copy on various volumes so I offered to buy him the first so he could save his allowance for XBOX games or whatever. He became politely excited and I inscribed it to him and bought it. So, did my good deed for the day.

More bookstores visited, more miles logged for the IRS. I'm giving a slight edge to Barnes and Noble who has been more consistent with putting me up front. With Borders it seems more like "if they have room/if they have a fan on staff" and sadly, in many cases, they don't. But I sign and sticker anyway.

Oh, and after my car trouble yesterday (the post is flocked because I was feeling pissy and disheartened) wouldn't you know that a brake light went out today. The service adviser popped in a new one and didn't charge me, which was nice of him.

One more note: for the first time in the history of the VE series, email from female readers is outnumbering the males, at least as of today. I think that's a good sign. It's hard to write just for one sex and really be successful.

I guess you'd call it a 'meh' review

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:04:21 GMT

Well, Publisher's Weekly wasn't too impressed with Fall With Honor either:

It’s 2075 and the fight to liberate Earth from the mysterious Kurians continues in the grim seventh Vampire Earth episode (after Valentine’s Resolve). Freedom fighter David Stuart Valentine is determined to overthrow the Kurian Occupation with the help of Sergeant Major Patel, one of Valentine’s former key associates, and a ragtag army of humans and alien Grogs. To establish a new “freehold” in the Appalachian Mountains, Valentine and company must fight blood-drinking Reapers, harpies, gargoyles and other evil minions of the invaders. Though there’s a clear vision of the courageous resistance fighters, the Kurians are ciphers and too often offstage. Valentine does find time for romance with an old friend and makes a brief, touching visit to his secret charge, Blake, a child Reaper, but this action-heavy episode suffers from battle-fatigue and a mind-numbing grimness to this installment that’s more about defeat than victory. (July)

I guess I should go for more touching and less mind-numbing in the next one, huh?

Meanwhile, on the Vampire Earth board, the main complaint is that there isn't enough action.

Another item on the to do list crossed off

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:14:18 GMT

Dragon Strike is winging its way back to Penguin.

After dropping it at the mailing center I treated myself to some sushi for lunch. Well, technically I got sashimi but you know what I mean. And sake. So I'm pleasantly relaxed.

I see Lucas has tapped a new vein in the rich Star Wars goldmine with his upcoming The Clone Wars animated series. I don't see the point. Beyond money, which is a satisfactory answer, I suppose.

I mean, most of the plot points have been cleared up by the prequels. About all he can show is Anakin and Obi Wan sabering their way through a bunch of separatists, and we had plenty of that already. I'm vaguely interested in getting more General Grievous, but there's only so many hours of "I have a bad feeling about this" and "It's only because I'm so in love./No, it's because I'm so in love with you" that I'll be willing to sit through. I have three questions left:

How the Rebel Alliance got started -- unlikely to be told in a series about the Clone Wars.

Why Padme risked pregnancy. There might be an interesting emotional story there.

How Palpatine so successfully blinded the Jedi despite their proximity.

But knowing Lucas, with his penchant for sewing everything to everything until his series looks like a quilt stitched by a blind howler monkey with no thumbs, we'll get:

Count Dooku is Han Solo's father.

Lando and Boba grew up in the same orphanage.

Jabba the Hut got some grainy night vision footage of a drunken Padme making out with Aayla Secura and used the distribution proceeds to loan Lando Calrissian money to buy the Millenium Falcon

Watto, Sebulba, Chewbacca, and Salacious Crumb are old poker buddies.

C-3P0 got it on with a EV-9D9 in a lubrication bath and conceived the interrogation droid Darth Vader later used on Princess Leia.

Owen Lars bought a baby rancor at a south Mos Eisley speederstop attraction and flushed it down the toilet when it got too big. Malakili, then a lowly urine-purifier at the Toshe Station sewage plant rescued it and nursed it back to health with bantha meat and nerf liver. He often teased young Luke with it when the little snot-nose snuck into his yard.

Ewoks are all gay. You can tell because they use an elaborate system of headwrap codes to advertise their sexual inclinations. Only Yoda knows the code, for reasons that will remain unexplained.

The trash compactor monster is the disfigured offspring of Boss Nass, hidden Born of Man and Woman-style in Jar Jar's swamp before being captured by the battle droids and taken back to the Corsuscant as a unique specimen of Naboo fauna, archived on Death Star 1, but it escaped thanks to a drunken bet between Grand Moff Tarkin and General Motti over whether or not you could get high by licking it.

Mace Windu is really sick of all these motherf*ckin' womp rats on his motherf*ckin' starship.

R2-D2 secretly deals spice to Art Carney.

Chats is away, Scopitones will play

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 00:52:00 GMT

Chats has had bellydancer teacher certification courses all weekend, and tonight she's out with the instructor for goodbye drinks.

Technically, it's over tomorrow, but the instructor is flying out immediately after class, so if there's any socializing to be done, it must be tonight.

Anway, here's a couple Scopitones. You know, bouffants and boobage.

One for the "what the hell were they thinking" file. This one has bizzare imagery that is guaranteed to show up in your next fever dream:

No Scopitone post would be complete without the incredible Joi Lansing. If I'm not mistaken, the Secret Agent from the Ministry of Silly Walks shows up again. I wonder if they were dating.

And some thoughts on feminity. Don't expect second wave feminism, people.

Sunday barely still morning

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:04:42 GMT

People like jimvanpelt are posting interesting stuff on writerly procrastination and I've got nuttin' but cats for you today.

Our ancient, frail cat Roo really liked his breakfast this morning. So much so he galloped up and down the condo hallway (our condo is laid out kind of like a European railcar, all the rooms are to the west of a long hallway winding up the east) trilling.

I doubt I'll still be running wind-sprints, should I be fortunate enough to get to his age. Does my heart good to see him in high spirits.

Oh, his breakfast was Tiki Cat. He loves seafood.

And here's a fun weapons meme I saw on mjolnir1964

My Results:

Choice of weapon.

M 14 Assult rifle.

The Elite...The Supreme. Devastating from a distance and a stone cold killer up close. Your probably the biggest threat on the battlefield. Your probably also the biggest target. Too bad your gun claps are so loud. Rate of fire is nice though.

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Skiffy Awards -- or just wank?

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:19:02 GMT

I’ve been thinking about Kaufmann's rundown of the Saturn awards. Do the awards really represent what we look to our brand of genre for? What expectations do we have, when seeking sf/fantasy/horror entertainment. Why this sad aping of the Oscars?

At the risk of being accused of trying to MTV up skiffy awards, let me offer the following categories:

Best Hero
For superior achievement as a protagonist.

Best Villain
For superior achievement as an antagonist.

Best Sidekick
For superior achievement as an entertaining second banana.

Best Ensemble
For superior achievement as a group dynamic.

Best Past
For superior achievement in imagining a past.

Best Present
For superior achievement in re-imagining our present (give or take a decade or two).

Best Future
For superior achievement in imagining a future.

Best Gadget
What we’d love to own in the real world.

Best Costume (male)
For superior achievement in costuming a male.

Best Costume (female)
For superior achievement in costuming a female.

Best Uniform
For Superior achievement in costuming a bunch of goons, dangerous or otherwise.

Best Nonhuman (intelligent)
For superior achievement in creating an imaginary lifeform capable of reason.

Best Nonhuman (unintelligent)
For superior achievement in creating an imaginary lifeform incapable of reason.

Best Creation
For superior animated products of reason (includes robots, androids, golems, self-aware computers, genetic mutations, and summonings).

Best Interpretation of Myth, Legend or Folklore
For superior achievement in bringing story to life.

Best Worldbuilding
For superior achievement in creation of a new reality.

Best Worldwrecking
For superior destruction in any reality.

Best Fap-fodder (male)
Best imaginary sexual partner (for those who prefer men).

Best Fap-fodder (female)
Best imaginary sexual partner (for those who prefer women).

Most slashable guy/guy pairing
For keeping us busy on the internet and/or quietly fapping away.

Most slashable girl/girl pairing
For keeping us busy on the internet and/or quietly fapping away.

Best Terror Sequence
For shocking our blocks off.

Best Action Sequence
For rocking our socks off.

Best Romantic Sequence
For getting our rocks off.

Best Transport
For a really cool spaceship, air-ship, submarine, spy car, interdimensional portal, or what have you.

Best Location
For a neat-o place.

Okay, maybe the slash and wanking categories are a bit over the top, but honestly, one of the big reasons I got into the genre for the wank (like that Simon Pegg sketch). I think the importance of wank-fodder should be recognized.

Chats on YouTube

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:30:25 GMT

So, here's a video of Chats dancing in New York.

It's also the first video I ever posted to YouTube.

Sadly, you can't really see all the cool stuff she's doing with he expressions and eyes. But you can see the DJ start the music before she's even placed herself where she wants to be on stage, but she recovers nicely.

Anyway, enjoy!

Kiwi Alert

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:36:22 GMT

My brother is in New Zealand for a conference and some tourism (yeah, he's going to do the LOTR tour -- they make everyone on it wear elf ears). He just arrived and saw FALL WITH HONOR at the airport Borders. Or was it a Borders near the airport? Anyway, wherever it is, I'm there.

Ribbed for her pleasure

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:17:31 GMT

So, our new landmark "Chicago Spire" is going up at last.

We can see the Trump if we look down east on Lake. This bad boy will probably be visible from anywhere.

2000 feet tall (the current record holder in Taipei is 1453). 1200 residences, I believe, from $750,000 to $40 million).

Just makes me feel so proud and manly. Chicago may have to change the "city of big shoulders" slogan to some other piece of anatomy.

Well, gotta go see what the wife's up to...

I lost a reader today

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:52:36 GMT

Never knew what he looked like. I do know his name, hometown, and that he's been reading sf a few years longer than I have.

I'll always be grateful to him because he sent me an encouraging email shortly after Way of the Wolf came out. Second week of September, 2003. He made some very kind comparisons to greats I enjoyed, and wondered if my initials were a tribute to "Doc" Smith. We corresponded now and then, usually when a new book came out.

About a six weeks ago his health took a serious turn for the worse, and I started hearing from people I didn't know sending messages to all his contacts. It was a swift decline, a cascade of bad news. He went into hospice this week and passed on this afternoon. I suppose it's a comfort to his family that he could be at home surrounded by loved ones in his last days. They have my sympathies.

Can't call him a friend, can't call him an acquaintance, really. Just one email contact who liked sf. But he made me feel better at a time when I was so anxious about my work I could barely sleep.

The world needs more kind people like that. Now there's one less.

Saturns, shortly.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:18:35 GMT

There's a lively discussion of the Saturn Awards over at nick_kaufmann. If you want a long analysis, go over to him.

I'm glad The Mist got some recognition, even if it was a 50/50 Bar of staggeringly awesome and disappointing. I thought 30 Days of Night was one of the better sf/fantasy/horror films I saw last year, and it seems to have been skunked.

No, I didn't believe Josh Harnett as a sheriff either. Still a good movie.

Death Proof should have got some kind of mention in the action category. Special Editing award for the intentional jump cuts? And as a grindhouse-related aside, is it just me or is Quentin Tarantino aging into the demonic love child of Randy Quaid and Willem Dafoe?

Posty posty posty

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 18:08:21 GMT

I haven't posted a lolcat in a while either, come to think of it.

As seen all over the flist...

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:59:04 GMT

Which Goddess lurks in your soul?

My Results:

Hecate

You hold more power in your little finger than most do in their entire being! Hecate is perhaps the most selective of all deities who inhabit the souls of mortals. Being the goddess of the crossroads, Cosmic Knowledge, and of course witches and magic she can’t be bothered by residing in the souls of the mundane. She often chooses those who practice the craft of the old ways and those who harbor deep mystical secrets that must be kept close. Your soul is old, perhaps having been present at the birth of the cosmos in some form or another. Your ability to comprehend the necessity of death and it’s beauty have awakened a connection to the underworld, where Hecate has been known to reign and you relish this otherworldly bond. Darkness suits you well, as many of the best secrets of the cosmos can be found there.

Eight and a half weeks

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:24:32 GMT

So, I had my eight week fitness assessment at the gym. Long story short, I'm making progress at everything except my main goal, which is to lose like twenty pounds. You're looking at the words of a fat guy in good cardiovascular condition with excellent upper body strength.

My coach, Colleen (she's a great gal -- tiny, but a stomach you could land a Harrier on) suggested I join the gym's equivalent of a fat camp. Eight weeks. You and three other people go through it, multiple training sessions a week, close tracking, consultations with a nutritionist. The price is very reasonable, considering the number of personal training sessions.

Problem is, I'm not really a rah-rah group effort kind of guy.

So naturally, to help make up my mind, I wrote a poll.

View Poll: #1210259

Get to work, Knight! (plus cool Star Wars crawl thingie)

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:53:44 GMT

But it's so sunny out....

My Star Wars Text Crawl.

I wish I could embed this, but LJ has some trouble with iframe tags, it seems. Even their "embed media" utility doesn't work. Oh well, it's still neat-o.

Returning on a Jet Plane

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:57:30 GMT

Well, Chats is wheels-up leaving La Guardia.

She gave me a quick call on the way to the airport. She had a great time at the show and with the seminar. Sounds like she did a lot of shopping too, so expect an "OMG teh shoppings!" post from her tomorrow or Sunday, I would imagine. She's saying we have to return yearly to NYC so she can buy bellydance stuff fresh off the boat.

I bought her flowers and I'm making a pie for her even now. I'm picking her up at O'Hare. The pie should be cool by the time she dumps her luggage on the bedroom floor.