Okay, revised Dragon book is outta here. Past couple days I've been headachy and dyspeptic and ornery, so I got some good dialog editing done and cut whole chains of paragraphs here and there that I kind of disliked but didn't have the cojones to just cut.

It snowed last night, so today I'm giving myself a snow day. School's out.

For appearances sake I'll go to the cafe and plant a few flags in the .doc file for VR, but the real schedule for today is:

1. Go to gym, workout, and have an extra-long schvitz.

2. Read

3. Read some more.



Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?" "Just a minute," said the busy clerk. "Vell", said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."



The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."



Sven asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?" "No, I don't," said Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Sven.



Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"



Sven: "Ole, stant in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working". Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No...."



Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth.



Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died.'" The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more." So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "



"Hey, Sven," said Ole, "how many Swedes does it take to grease a combine?" After Sven replied, "I don't know," Ole said, "Only two, if you run them through real slow."



Ole and Sven were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel. "Have you eaten your banana yet," Ole asked excitedly? "No," replied Sven. "Vell, don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind!"



Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Sven inquired how she was doing with it. "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded he to svitch to a clarinet." "How come," asked Sven? "Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing."



Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?" Ole said, "No, I'm Norvegian...and my name isn't Valter."